Bravado Incognito

Last night I fell in love with my bartender. It happened so fast, in my head I just kept going "this crazy, this is crazy" but my heart took over and told me "go ahead, get another drink, maybe this time you'll talk to him". But I didn't. I just stood there, kind of smiling, waiting as he made my drink, then saying "Thank you" in my oh-my-god-that-girl-is-so-fucking-adorable voice that you just have to love me. It's kind of sickening. When I closed my tab, I contemplated being sly and just writing my phone number on the receipt, something I have never done before and most likely will never do b/c 1) I don't have the balls and 2) I'm not so sure, but is it pathetic? I can't take any chances.

Okay, I didn't realize they arrested Christian Slater, like took him away in handcuffs arrested him? (via just jared) I thought the lady with the ass that was (allegedly) grabbed just made a complaint. You know, a little paperwork, some money exchanged, problem solved. It worked with Michael Jackson (the first time).

Mary-Kate looks like shit (via a socialite's life). And she don't give a fuck.

There really is a website for everything....even something as mundane as celebrities eating (via lindsayism). Who am I kidding? I will look at every picture like a goddamned curator.

Today is Ashley's birthday, so....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ASHLEY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

(I'm not original)

Tonight we're going to the White Horse for an evening of "drinking a few (or many) alcoholic beverages, and basically participating in an entire night of debaucherous awesomeness." I can't wait. AND the next day it's fun at the beach for Birthday Wars: Revenge of the Beach, Episode II. This time, however, I will not burn the hell out of my back (it's still an odd shade of brown thanks to my last beach venture...damn you SPF 4!!!)
R.